I was raised in a Southern Baptist church (nothing derogatory intended by pointing that out, just stating a fact). It was very formal and proper. We all kind of looked alike, dressed alike, behaved alike. The church services were absolutely the same every week. It was down to an exact science. We had a full orchestra and amazing music. It was like a little mini symphony concert every week with one good soloist singer and other hymns we all sang together. When the congregation sang, emphasis seemed to be on reading the correct words off the screens at the right time while simultaneously trying to be at the right pitch to match the orchestra. Sometimes God touched me and spoke to me through those hymns, but you'd never know it by looking as we weren't a very expressive bunch.
I distinctly remember where I was the moment I first saw someone raise their hands in worship. I was probably 12 years old or so. I was in the balcony next to several of my friends, and across on the other side of the sanctuary in the other balcony was this lady... I can still see her face. Her hair was fire red and long and poofy, just flowing everywhere. She had a look of complete bliss on her face, slightly tilted towards heaven with closed eyes. She lifted her right hand above her head cupping it slightly and palm facing outward, and as the music ebbed and flowed, her hand would move around and her face would contort in emotion. I remember the thoughts that entered my head, "what a showoff", "how embarrassing it must be for her husband", "what a faker", "why is she trying to bring so much attention to herself?", and "she should be ashamed behaving like that."
Looking back it is me who is ashamed of past thoughts. I didn't know how sinful my judgmental thoughts were as a young man. Praise God he has taken me so far. I laugh thinking of what I would have said had I seen how my future wife would behave in worship! Thank God He didn't give up on me.
I'm a man's man. I like guns and meat and football. I'm hairy. I like outdoor adventures. Dudes like me have a natural tendency to gravitate towards other manly men and sometimes have contempt for sensitive types of men or those with more refined, artsy, or even effeminate qualities. But there's something that happened to me that made me different. I met Jesus. Jesus is wonderful. He doesn't think like we do naturally. He sees people the way the Father sees them. The more you get to know Jesus and the more He gets hold of your heart, the more you will too. The Father loves everyone, and sent Jesus to die for all mankind. I'm still hairy and manly and love all the manly things, but my behavior has radically changed in how I see and treat others that aren't like me. I'm now mysteriously drawn to everyone that is different than me. I really have a heart for gay people. I love effeminate, artsy men that worship with reckless abandon. I really love black people that boldly don't hold anything back in church and can't help but loudly outburst and proclaim AMEN! and HALLELUJAH! to words of truth. I love meeting people from all different nations. At church I feel most connected to some of the people that are the most opposite of me. I'm thinking of a little old hispanic lady that was a new member about the same time as me at the church I currently attend... I can't see her without hugging her. She makes me smile so much... something about her sincere motherly spirit just touches me deeply. Christ has a way of crossing every boundary and tearing down every wall.
I was at a healing conference today, and I found myself just weeping for hours literally feeling empathy for those desperate and in need of major physical healing in their lives. This is because God is touching me again. He's showing me how much he loves the broken, the damaged, the blind, the mentally ill, the oppressed. I helped lead worship tonight and just felt overwhelmed by His goodness. I remember just singing out boldly, the fear of man and of not performing correctly just falling away as I sang... just utterly not caring what people thought about me, and able to cut loose and express by sound some of these deep things that needed to be expressed. I saw two men, middle-aged, bald, waving flags and dancing with abandon... and was just so touched by the beauty of their expression. They really blessed me with their extravagant worship and I sensed deeply how much the Father was pleased with all of His kids.
This is what Heaven will be like. This is "on Earth as it is in Heaven" stuff, right here, right now, for our enjoyment. So you can ridicule it, or you can join me and get over yourself, get over your religion, get past your biases, past your prejudices, and start trying to see people with the eye of Jesus. All colors, all nations, all tribes, all tongues, all types of people... everyone is welcome at God's table. There are enough seats for everyone.
Step out of your comfort zone a little today. Find someone to hug even if you're not a hugger. Find someone that rubs you the wrong way or offends you, and ask God to show you how He sees that person... the love He has for them, and you'll be amazed. You'll be changed too. Stop looking for the worst in people and start looking for the best in them. Thank God for the beautiful diversity of His bride.
Keep working on me Lord. Thanks for never giving up on me.
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